How to Successfully Navigate the Stages of a Relationship

Falling in love is probably the best feeling any person can experience in the world. It changes our perception of life. Love makes our world a little bit brighter and happier. That is why many of us give in to this wonderful feeling.

Falling in love is an easy thing, but building and maintaining a healthy relationship can be challenging, despite what we see in the movies. Being in a relationship takes a lot of work, patience, and understanding to cultivate love and weather the storms as you both go through the different stages of your relationship. Unfortunately, some couples failed to survive the many challenges and drift apart.

Every couple has different relationship goals. No matter which path they choose—whether it is down the aisle or across continents—the fundamental stages of a relationship remain the same. How couples handle these challenges can define the shape of their relationship.

Understanding these different stages will help couples navigate their way into a long-lasting and loving partnership.

The Attraction and Romance Stage

This is the kind of stage we often see in movies. Couples in love are in complete euphoria. Everything seems perfect, and you feel like nothing can go wrong. You see the other person as the centre of your life. You spend all your day thinking about this person. Your brain produces high levels of dopamine, norepinephrine, and oxytocin when you are high in love. This stage usually lasts from a couple of months to two years.

Although this stage is full of excitement, you feel overwhelmed with all your emotions and forget about your senses. However, as much as you enjoy this stage, it is still best to take things slow. You might plan your future together, but it does not necessarily mean that they are “the one.” Keep in mind that it is the chemicals in your brain giving you the feeling.

Also, it is common for a person to show their absolute best to impress their loved one. Many times, you may end up not being true to yourself. Remember that you do not have to change and pretend to be someone else. If they love you, they will accept you for who you truly are. Most importantly, adding a little bit of logic and reasoning keeps reality in check and saves you from potential heartbreak.

The Crisis Stage

This is where things get real. The crisis stage can be the breaking point of most relationships. Challenges can test the foundation of love. Disappointments, annoyances, and arguments start to replace the illusion of happily ever after. You begin to see your differences. Each clash or struggles can make you think that your relationship is doomed, affecting your sense of security. Unfortunately, many relationships fail at this point.

What happens in this stage can frequently influence the shape of your partnership. Lucy Brown, Ph.D., a clinical neurology professor at Einstein College of Medicine (New York) refers to the second stage as the ‘five-year or seven-year itch.’ Couples could either drift apart or hold on to stay together, Brown added. Although a crisis can be a bad thing, it helps couples to communicate more and establish a secure emotional connection as you continue to both grow and change. Also, this stage enables you to handle and react to challenges better. Some couples even seek counselling in Windsor to save their relationship.

However, if things do not work out the way you want it, there is no shame in walking away. Ending your relationship at this stage can actually be better for both of you, if the alternative is to continue in a relationship that is no longer meeting the needs of either you or your partner.

The Working Stage

Couples who have overcome the crisis stage may feel proud of their efforts—as well they should. Surviving through the challenges showed how strong you are as a couple. After clawing your way out of the dumps, you find yourself in perfect harmony with your loved one. The crisis stage taught you how to compromise with each other. You start to find yourself falling in love deeper with this beautiful soul because you both have finally learned how to understand and accept each other’s flaws.

However, it is still important to be cautious. While the working stage seems peaceful, many couples may become complacent. Despite living harmoniously with your partner, you may start to feel relaxed and take them for granted.

Being in this blissful stage does not mean you have to stop making efforts. Continue taking the extra mile to make your partner feel special. Surprise them with a beautiful bouquet of their favourite chocolate without occasion. These things can spice up your relationship and keep the spark alive.

The Commitment Stage

Couples who reached this stage choose to be together even if things get tough. You accept that your partner is human with their imperfections, wants, and needs, but you still choose to love them. You consciously decide that your partner is the right person for you.

In the commitment stage, you truly feel that you belong together. It is in this stage where many couples make significant decisions to truly commit to each other by moving in together, getting married, or starting their own family. The commitment stage may be similar to the attraction stage, but only better. You have found your life partner whom you want to build your life and face challenges together.

Although the road ahead may look smooth, this stage is riddled with challenges on its own. You might think you have reached the silver lining, but you can never be more wrong. It may signify the start of something grand, but your work is never done. Being in a committed relationship does not mean you stop growing—there are still many things to rediscover about each other.

The Real Love Stage

This is it! All your hard work, heartaches, sweat, blood, and tears have finally paid off. You consider yourselves as a strong team who can endure any trials. Instead, both of you are willing to explore out of the box and create something beautiful that will last forever. Although there will always be difficulties and challenges to test you, you know that you have everything you need to face and weather the storm. The real love stage makes you realize that all the great and bad times were all worth it after all.

We all want our relationships to last. However, as we navigate through these stages, we come face to face with challenges that can weaken us as a couple. Overcoming these challenges can be difficult, but with goodwill and hard work, they can be overcome.

Wendy Limarzi’s Depression & Relationship Counselling Services provides a therapist in Windsor who can provide professional counselling to couples who want to save their relationship. Call Depression & Relationship Counselling Services at (519) 253-1519 to contact Wendy Limarzi or submit an email request.