Signs of Emotional Abuse
Signs of an emotionally abusive relationship can be hard to spot, compared to physical abuse. Physical abuse can use violence as a means to control a person and force them into submission. Emotional abuse applies psychological tactics to dominate a partner without leaving visible scars. This results in the victim doubting their own perceptions and feelings as they start to develop fear from the abuser.
If you find yourself constantly feeling guilty and worthless around your partner (or someone else in your life) and fearful of their reactions, you might want to consider the following signs of an emotionally abusive person and see whether they fit many of these attributes:
They constantly demean, ridicule, and disregard your opinions and beliefs.
Every relationship is bound to have a few disagreements, but if someone constantly belittles your opinions and beliefs, it might be a sign you are dealing with a person who is unwilling to compromise or reach an agreement.
It is never their fault.
There are times when you need to speak to people in your life about actions that hurt you. However, instead of apologizing for their mistakes, an emotionally abusive person tends to shift the blame onto someone or something else and dismiss your reaction as “dramatic” or “childish.”
They regularly point out your flaws and past mistakes to you and other people.
The person seemingly enjoys mocking your shortcomings and bringing up your embarrassing moments to other people. They may also share deeply intimate secrets. Beyond demonstrating disregard, these behaviours may also be meant to provoke a reaction from you.
They tend to rewrite history.
Throughout the relationship, abusive people tend to “rewrite history” by subtly changing details of a shared experience. For example, they may create stories on the spot and tease you if you fail to recall them. Or they may deny your version of an event and insist it happened differently, dismissing any evidence to the contrary.
They control your decisions.
Emotionally abusive persons are obsessed with controlling every aspect of your life. From your looks, schedule, and finances, they have a need to know every minute detail of your whereabouts, who you are with, and whether or not you are acting according to their standards. They may also constantly call and message you at work (or during leisure time), expressing feelings of disappointment or anger.
They play the victim.
Every time you bring up a serious problem, an abusive person may immediately dismiss it and insist that you are at fault. During an argument, they may repeatedly bring up your mistakes and shortcomings. The abuser cannot be at fault — only you can.
Emotional abuse is a serious problem that needs to be dealt with immediately. People in emotionally abusive relationships may start doubting their own perceptions or self-worth. Constant feelings of doubt and anxiety in your relationship are unhealthy and can manifest into harmful habits or consequences if not immediately addressed. Therapy can help.
If you have questions or concerns about being in an emotionally abusive relationship, please call Limarzi Counselling in Windsor, Ontario at (519) 253-1519 to schedule a counselling session. We care about your well-being and health.